Whether you believe it or not, we all have greatness inside of us. In order to access it we need to be willing to challenge ourselves in ways that will be uncomfortable. We do need to be willing to take full responsibility for what we have created in our lives and the experiences we are having. In its simplicity, if someone pisses us off, that is an opportunity to connect with that part within ourselves that we have dis-identified with. Once that relationship within ourselves is healed, the relationship with that other person will less reactive.
Some great statements from the interview
I don’t have to settle. I don’t have to tolerate the life I have, even it’s good. I want great, magnificent and outstanding.
When you see someone who’s the best in the world at what they do, they’re being rewarded in public for what they’ve practised millions of times in private.
Become aware of your patterns: It’s really hard to change yourself, it’s easy to change a pattern. You break a pattern by first - awareness, second - raising your standards.
All lasting change happens in an altered state.
What people really want is an extraordinary life, a magnificent life, which is life on your terms. You get this with 2 things;
The science of achievement - obsess about what you want, focus on it continuously, have so much emotion about it, you take massive action, keep changing your approach, model someone great and do it with grace.
The art of fulfilment - what turns you on, excites you, fulfils you. Success without fulfilment is the ultimate failure. It’s about loving your life every single day and staying happy when something doesn’t go your way.
Our mind can take us over unless our heart is what’s running us.
All of your upsets are based on the expectations you have of others. Expectations put you and others in a box. You can free yourself when you trade your expectations for appreciation.
When something happens in your life, try and see if you can watch the emotion and not engage with it. See if you can find something in that moment to appreciate. When you find it and it’s real (not an affirmation or some positive bullshit) it then turns into joy.
What do I have to do all the time? Where did it come from?
Who’s love did I crave the most? My mother, father or another family member?
Who did you have to be for that person?
Who could you never be for that person?
When you’re comfortable in yourself, then you can give to other people and there aren’t the hooks.
Who do you really like a lot and what are the qualities in them?
What you really like about them are qualities that you have within yourself but you’ve dis-identified from them because they didn’t match the way you were supposed to be. When you reclaim them, you’re more alive.
Who do you dislike or what qualities in someone pisses you off?
Whatever qualities that piss you off are also qualities that you’ve dis-identified with. Whatever energy is annoying you, is calling you to find that part in yourself.
In a relationship, we often fall for someone who has the opposite personality traits we do. If we do not reclaim that part of ourself, the very thing that we loved in that person we will begin to hate because we have not grown and now we blame them unconsciously.
Interview by Marie Forleo